Covid diaries - devotionals

I've noticed that I only ever write poems when I'm very depressed and living in the middle of a pandemic is very stressful.

Panic-stricken

God, do you even hear
Are you even there?
I gave up a lucrative career
Trying to see if You are near

Fellow sisters are at the top
Printing out prestigious papers
While I'm struggling to mop
And changing those dirty diapers

I know that book says You love me
That it only matters if you know me
But once in awhile I'd like to see
What you really see in me

I know you see my tears
The way I look in the mirrors
Lord, I believe but help my unbelief
Someday I'd just like a bit of relief

You know all my doubts and fears
The things that are whispered in my ears
Am I really not good enough?
Do I keep on acting tough?

Lying anxious awake at night
I'm afraid I've lost the light
If you can give the blind sight
Why can't You take off this weight?

I wasn't there when you created the world
I have no right to want to change the world
Maybe I am too much of this world
When are You going to save the world?